The Sending
by Song of Stillness
Summary: This is my ending to 'The Sending.' Considering it's not out yet, these are just speculations - but this is my bitter-sweet take on how I'd like it to end.


**The Sending**

_Author's Note:_ This is my ending to _The Sending_. In a similar vein to Frodo in Lord of the Rings, I think Elspeth needs some time for herself in the end - time to heal both physically and emotionally. So she leaves Obernewtyn.

o0o

"Gahltha…" I called to him in my mind as I ran out onto the plains, the wind rushing through my hair. The night echoed around me, at once both turbulent and soft and strangely exhilarating. I thought that if I could extinguish all my thoughts in that one moment, empty myself of all emotions I would surrender myself right then and there to the night. A thundering of hooves echoed across the plain and I turned, my heart beating hard and fast to see the proud dark head push its way into my vision, regal and beautiful against the pale moon, pawing the ground with evident impatience.

"It's beautiful is it not?" I said, lifting my hands up to embrace the sky. "I feel like I could dance and never stop… just keep on dancing until I die…"

For some inexplicable reason, emotions welled up within me suddenly like a storm; anger, pain and an incredible sadness. Gahaltha all but stood there patiently as I screamed turmoil into my mind. Who knew that beauty could cut through you like a knife? remind you of things you'd never have... remind you of things you'd lost...

We had won. Yes.

But I had lost...

I had lost everything...

The Weapon Machines had been destroyed, but at what cost? My own life, my sanity, and the ones I loved… ?

After the anger had subsided I was left with a dull bruising ache that came from a black void inside me. Gahaltha came nearer as he sensed my pain. "Oh Gahltha… What's wrong with me?!" I exclaimed as I buried my face in his mane. "Why when everything is finally at peace can I not be content? There's this restlessness inside of me that aches and burns in turn and it pains me because I realise I cannot stay here…"

"Elspeth Innle must go where her spirit will be free."

I looked up into the wise, proud face and the tears I had tried so desperately to hold back, poured forth like bitter rain on Gahltha's warm flank.

_Elspeth Innle must be strong,_

_She has much life left to live…_

I gasped as the grumpy voice entered my mind, for I instantly recognised it.

"Maruman?" I whispered, incredulous, trembling, not trusting myself to speak in case it was only my imagination.

"But…how…? I don't understand..." I was very near tears again.

Maruman resumed a dignified if not smug silence so it was Gahltha who enlightened me.

"Maruman Yelloweyes is not lost to the Equine's Long Sleep, he is forever with you.

He sees/perceives through your eyes when he chooses to."

Barely able to breathe, I clasped my arms around me, touching my face, my eyes as if somehow I could reach and hold the tiny spark that was my dearest friend now safely within my mind forever. It somehow blocked out terrible memories of seeing the life seep from his cold, still body.

_Oh Maruman..._

And not a physical touch - exactly, but a whisper of wind over my face and the ghost of a cold nose touching my cheek and with it, an emotion like gladness flooded my mind. Tears of joy slid down my face as I realised the ones I loved would be with me always. I felt a sharp pang as I thought of Rushton and how deeply I still loved him. He didn't know of my quiet slipping away tonight. In fact, I think he'd stop me if he knew. But his was a love I'd keep with me until I died. I thought of Matthew and Dragon's quiet contentment that made my heart sing, of Kella, of Swallow, of dear sweet Dameon who had sacrificed himself for me because of a love so strong it conquered both fear and pain…

So many I had loved and lost… but they would be with me forever…

I lifted my face to the old building of Obernewtyn, my first and true home where I truly belonged. I knew what Atthis meant now, that I would loose everything and everyone who had ever meant anything to me. For indeed I had. There was a restless longing in my soul that could not be quenched. Nothing would ever be the same again. The hopes and dreams of everyone lived on, for Dardelan and Bruna. For Brydda. Hope was swelling across the earth, healing was taking place, but not for me…

For me, only the wind and a gentle forgetfulness as I rode to lands unknown, across the furthest sea, away from everything that had connected me to this land, to this place, to my quest which I was finally released from.

"Are you ready Elspeth Innle?" came Gahltha's gentle thought.

"_She is forever thinking on things she cannot change,"_ grumped Maruman inside my mind, but I smiled, looking into Gahltha's liquid brown eyes and seeing both my own and for a second Maruman's bright yellow one look out.

"Yes. I am."

And jumping lightly up onto his broad back, I turned one last time to Obernewtyn, its walls gleaming oddly in the moonlight, but for some strange, unknown reason the moon was not an enemy tonight. I pictured Rushton standing up on the balcony staring at the same moon with bitter-sweet sadness. I pressed my hands painfully to my heart in a silent farewell.

_My Ravek love. I will always love you…_

And then I turned away, trusting Gahltha to lead the way over the rocky terrain as the wind picked up, sifting through my hair and lifting it like a flag on a ship's mast.

For a startling moment, in my minds eye I glimpsed movement on the plains, and I gasped, clutching onto Gahaltha's sides as I saw what seemed to be a million ghosts sweeping across the dusty ground. Beforetimers... perhaps and those I had loved and lost, raising their hands in a final farewell. I smiled as the illusion disappeared as soon as it came, the plains giving way to the same brittle soil, teasing me, as if I had only imagined it. I did not know what would happen… Who knew… maybe after many years I would return. Time had an uncanny way of healing wounds…I smiled, feeling the wind in my hair.

At last, I was free.


End file.
